Claire shares her experience of juggling her own health and her employment with caring for her Mum.
"Just at the start of COVID, I moved from my house to live with Mum. Before, Mum would come stay at mine or my sisters and we’d stay at hers. I’ve not lived in my own house for five years now and only get to go back odd days and nights. My sister would travel from Yorkshire every Tuesday to care for Mum whilst I worked and stay a few weekends each year so I could get some well-earned rest. However, since June last year, she’s been unable to due to recent health issues.
I’m generally fit and healthy but the past few years looking after Mum has had an impact on my health. I have musculoskeletal problems because of having to move Mum including some back issues. Last year, Mum had a tumble which pulled on my shoulder, and I’ve needed to have quite a lot of physio.
When I’ve felt physically or mentally drained, my eating isn’t as healthy as I’m not cooking the food I normally like. I’ve postponed my medical appointments at times because there hasn’t been agency staff or family available to help care for Mum. I’m juggling a lot in my life and trying to get a balance, but it’s hard.
Tiredness and fatigue are a problem with Mum’s care needs being 24/7. On occasion I’ve turned down going out with friends because I’ve been too tired. I always feel if I could get a full night’s sleep it would help.
My sister worries about my health, and it’s been discussed about Mum going into a care facility full time. I know I have to assess how I am and how Mum is, but I want to try and keep Mum at home if we can. I’m not entirely alone but some days it’s a little bit exhausting because I’m the key person.
There are days where it’s been a real struggle to work. Thankfully my manager’s very flexible and allows me to work more days from home. If I didn’t have this option, I wouldn’t have been able to go to work.
Working reduced hours has meant a massive loss of earnings and effect on my pension. You feel in life that you work hard and as you get older, maybe you’ll be in a better financial situation. I feel as I’m getting older I’m having to budget more because I haven’t got the same disposable income. Last year I spoke to HR who did a summary of my lost earnings of the last 11 years since Dad died and caring for Mum. It was approximately £135,000. When you become a carer, you need practical, emotional, and financial help. Finance is massive as it’s helping to pay for care if you need it and have respite for yourself.
There are many challenges being a carer but I try to see the positives and have quality time with Mum. Together we join a weekly music Zoom group, I try to take Mum to church to enjoy the hymns and when possible organised music events. Music can bring out a lot of joy in Mum and seeing this positive effect makes me happy."
Thank you to Claire and Age UK for sharing this story